Thursday, July 31, 2008

Project Runway: 5-03

First. Pissed at Bravo for moving the replay back a half an hour. I'm too tired to be clever.

The Challenge (duh-duh-dunnnnn): Create an outfit for a New York night out inspired by a picture taken of, well, New York at night.

Second. Daniel totally confirmed the he-and-Wesley "connection"


Suede is really going to have to stop speaking in third person. He may be a good designer, but it makes him sound like a total doofus.

Stella akaTrashBags is sound-bited as saying "I'll get ready in 10 minutes." Later, they show her looking completely homeless. Yay for sharp editing!

Tim Gunn looks so chic in rainwear! Everyone else fails to look chic in ponchos. Fools! HA! Everyone looks a-fool in a poncho.

Joe? Who's Joe? I guess he must be going home next.


Blane akaTannorexic- "I want to get all dolled up and go out on the town!"
"It's a party bus!"
"Is (yes, grammar-fiends, he said 'is') there any tanning salons down here?"
"I'm gonna eat you..." (Blane is on crack)
"Hey, Jarrell, do you have your mask on yet?" Jarrell (dangerously close to becoming 'akaDeathbeforeIwearhisdesigns')-" you have your red shorts on?"
Stella akaTrashBags-"I'm going to die rock-n-roll. If you don't like it, get the f*** outta herr."

Another Stella-bite. Still homeless. Everyone else, still foolish in the ponchos.

And Heidi still calls Nina "Elle, Editor-at-Large" IE-Elle, editor-they-fired-but-she's-under-contract-with-the-show.

On to the designs!

Blane: Finally! A design that lives up to his eccentric personality. Flirty, unique, fab. And clearly Times-Square-inspired. Well, done, Blane. It's about time.

Daniel- You did not disappoint me this week, but it could have been better. It wasn't flawlessly executed, and I must say they have to like you, because they've sent a couple other chumps home for less.

Leanne- GAHHHH! I love this! She was inspired by a tree-grate in Columbus Square. It's delightful. Architectural, modern, versatile. Why didn't she win, oh why?

Kenley- This is the winning design. Sure, it's bright and fun. But the pattern does sort of look like a patio cushion in a retirement community in Florida.

Terri- ACKKK!!! Seriously. Frightening. Vinyl or pleather? It doesn't matter, does it? It's all god-awful-hideous.

Jarrell-His attempt at saving himself from becoming Jarrell akaDeathbeforehisdesigns. Not a great effort. Blah color. The shape has been done. YAWN. But I will stave off of the nickname for another week. But it hurts me.

Stella-"Because it's leatha" Only she used pleather. BLAUHGGG! Metallic pleather? My gag reflex can barely contain itself.

Joe- Who? Who's he? What's this dress? It's about as exciting and well-designed as a Barbie dress.

Korto- Boo for lack of innovation. Boo. She's a technician, though, undoubtedly.

Jennifer- Okay. Sure. I like it, but I don't know that I'd buy it. Too literal an interpretation of a clock, and therefore too costumey.

Everyone else- Who cares? Snores all around. Literally. I fell asleep during the runway. Step it up designers! You are my favorite show! You should be able to keep me from napping through your designs.

Emily- The losing design. Unfortunately for her, Blane did the same thing fifty times better to amplify her mediocrity in this challenge. Otherwise she may have skated by. But classy departure, Emily.

You can buy a lot of things, but you can't buy class.


Becky said...

uhh, Leanne was by FAR the best. And I must say, your recaps are almost as good as watching the show. :-)

Anonymous said...

I too was rooting for Leanne. I most didn't want Kenley to win because she can be a real jerk on the show.

Did Nina really get fired from Elle?