Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Just so uninspired: Project Runway 05-05

Uninspired. This is the title (or should have been) for this episode. The designers, ho-hum-uninspired...sigh..... Therefore, my blog-ability is as well. I'm so disappointed.

The Challenge-
Design an outfit for Brooke Shield's character on her show lipstick jungle. This is also a team challenge.
Reasons why the designers should have FREAKED OUT AND BUSTED A MOVE:
1) It's Brooke Shields people! A-Lister. Former Calvin Klein model. Hottie.
2) Lipstick Jungle is (trying to be) Sex in the City, round 2. Get it, designers? FASHION IS A CHARACTER ON THE SHOW. They are going for iconic and trend-setting. Not hideous or boring.
Reasons why the designers failed to see the excitement and put forth any reasonable amount of effort:
1) They are all actually fifty-percent deaf. At least.
2) They all secretly want to give Tim Gunn a stroke. But how could you? I mean HOW COULD YOU?! He's a wonderful, wonderful man. I want to have him over for dinner parties.
3) They are gunning for jobs designing doll-clothes for Mattel.
4) They actually hate celebrities, like poor, beautiful Natalie Portman who also had to watch a parade of mediocre outfits down a runway and stifle her yawns.

Blane aka Tanfriedfillet- "Team Dramalicious...Oh! I forgot the door."
B-"I just really don't want it to be Hilary." (In response to hearing that they would be designing for a powerful woman. Me either, B. That would be a tough-y.)
Stella aka Trashbags- "I hope it's Sharon Osborn: Queen of Rock! I mean, she's a business woman..." (Oh Stella, being a judge on America's Got Talent w/ the Hoff does not automatically put you into this category.)
Tim Gunn- "It looks like a big sweet potato." (Incidentally, I LOVE sweet potatoes. They are one of my favorite foods.)
TG- "Please borrow appropriately from the Bluefly accessory wall..." (Which of course makes me wonder what the H happened to inspire the word "appropriately!" Come on Bravo! Let a girl in on the secret!)
TG to Trashbags- "She's still got to go to work in it though." (Listen up Stella! When Tim Gunn says this, he means that your outfit is going to FAIL. Luckily, she wasn't selected.)
Did anyone else notice Joe say, "Hey Nina..." all flirtatious?! Like, woah! He straight! AND he married!

Thoughts as things shape up:

Jarell commits to make something sexy and simple. Oh, thank heaven. I'll believe it when I see it, though.
Who is this Keith-person that keeps talking? Why can't I remember a designer for a week?
Terri- Throw Down! She's gonna fight someone before the season ends. I hope it's Suede, for my dollar.
It would appear that, by magic, the awfuls (Jarell and Stella) together make a reasonably attractive garment. Who knew?! It's like a green-tea cream frappacino in that way.
Catty, Catty, Catty. Apparently, these designers also never learned the fine-art of interacting with other people with any semblance of respect, or cordiality, or tact.

Snooooooze Snooooooooze Snooooooooze.

Designs! Luckily it was a team challenge, so I didn't have to look at so many average outfits this week. I mean, they were definitely still average for the most part, but you know, just not as many of them.

Korto/Joe- I like it. It's chic. The back is a little iffy. Too revealing. Sketchy fit. Overall, it was rather confusing. The materials didn't fit the concept. But whatevs. She had immunity anyway (which she, naturally, threw in everyone's faces.)

Kelli/Daniel- Hot MESS FOR SHOW. Micheal says "Slutty, slutty, slutty." I'm afraid this was destined to fail. Sorry, Kelli. Auf'd. But I want Daniel to go home, really. I'm tired of this sillyness. And blank stares at everyone.

Jerrell/Stella- Can't believe it. They made it work. Brooke hates the belt, though. Good effort, though! I'm proud!

Keith/Kenley. - I love this, I do. But to say it's original would be a bit of a stretch. But it does the job, it looks sharp, it translates day-night. Success! They win, and they deserved to!

Terri/Suede- IT's nice. It doesn't do anything for the body though. Once again, it's not NEW. Give me something NEW PLEASE. Stop exacerbating my urge to nap.

Blane/Leanne- Oh blane, oh blane, oh blane. The under-top is the only decent thing on there. The rest looks like No Boundaries-Walmart-brand.

For the round-up, Nina says "It's a question of taste." READ: This is how Nina says your look is trashy/slutty/god-awful-hideous. Daniel loves to say "I have very high-end taste. There's no question of this." CLEARLY, THERE IS! Doofus.

Gah. GAH! GAAAAHHH! People. Please. Do better next week. If not for me, do it for Tim Gunn.

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