Thursday, August 21, 2008
Speechless. PR 05.06
Oh sweet baby moses.
What can I even say about this episode? It was like the movie Xanadu. There's just too much to account.
The Challenge: Design a look for a Drag Queen.
Well, at least I can't accuse Bravo of being unoriginal this week.
-Blane uses "licious" as a suffix. I'm at a loss, really. Leanne refers to this habit of his [indirectly] as barflicious. And then the world blew up.
-That whole story about Suede's dress, grandfather, and Heada Lettuce.
-Anything said by the drag queens. EVERYTHING.
-Stella aka Trashbags "She's soggy lettuce!"
-Tim Gunn "It's like a teradactyl from a gay Jurassic Park" Blane thinks that Tim is complementing him. I'm, uh? What? Is he on tan-craq?
-Tim Gunn "Don't you you-know-what with me, sister!"
-Daniel"I'm not worried at all about Tim's critique." GAH! I'm sooooo over him! We should send him home immediately, just for saying that!
-Stella "...however, these broads aren't classy! Most of them wear really tacky S*** on the runway!" I mean, if they weren't drag queens, I would say that they should be deeply concerned about Stella aka Trashbags accusing them of poor taste.
-Micheal Kors "It's like a good bar-mitzvah moment!"
-Daniel says about forty times "I have a very high taste level. I'm very sophisticated. I'm very predictable and snobby." What? Okay, maybe not that last part, but come on! He's not freaking Oscar de la Renta! He is not designing for Dior! He is not the standard of taste and class! I'm! Just! So! Tired! of! GRRRRR!
Yeah, I had a lot of thoughts this episode.
So many thoughts. So many... Sooooo...... Shhaaarks.....
-Namely, RuPaul looks like The Mummy, Returns.
-And Daniel, how I loathe when you open your mouth... And when you ignore Tim Gunn and make whatever you want.
-And AHK! RuPaul!
-And I love the look of fear that Daniel gets when he realizes that he's gonna be in the bottom-again.
The Queenly Procession:
Winner: Joe! Good for him! They didn't discriminate against his hetero status! This outfit is funny, and gauddy, and does what it's supposed to. Great job, Joe! (I will say though, that when RupPaul said that it covered up the candy, a piece of me died.)
Should have won: LeAnne! SERIOUSLY?! This is perfection. Not only does it fit the personality and taste of her queen, make her look great, but it's just conceptual enough to be couture as well! Couture Drag?! She should have been a shoo-in! Sorry, Leanne, but hopefully all of this failure to notice you will mean that you sneak right past everyone into Bryant Park!
Terri- Woo! Yowzas. Well, it's original. It's frightening. It's over-the-top. It's...I....yeah.
Korto- Korto clearly had fun with this challenge. I like her! The sculpted flames are innovative and brilliant; the outfit overall is whitty and sharp. It does all the right things for her Queen. Bravo, Korto!
Shoulda been in the bottom: Stella. I swear, she must be casting spells over the judges to still be on this show. The only passable thing she has yet to send down the runway was what she did in the team challenge-i.e., not hers! Tim Gunn refered to the bottom hem of this dress as a doggie door. And trust me, he wasn't implying that it was cute. Oh sweet nelly. Trashbags needs to be placed on the curb.
Kenley- Ohhh pah-leeze. This could have been done so much better! This silver fabric is hooker-chic, not queeny-gaudy.
Suede- I must admit, all the "whackadoodle" drama that went down over this outfit in clips and soundbites, I thought for sure that suede was going to get the boot. I mean, she looks like the love child of a Flinstoned Godzilla and a Cabbage Patch Doll.
Blane- Three words: Neon. Gay. Pterodactyl. ORRRRR Send. Blane. Home.
Jerell- He reins himself in on the drag queen challenge?! WHAT??! He made freaking Little Bo Peep for the Olympic Challenge, and he makes an ever-so-barely-hideous bar mitzvah dress that M.K.'s great aunt would wear? Bah! He deserved that slap on the wrist.
Keith- I almost vom'ed when I saw this. I assume you did, too. So we'll just leave the rest unspoken. But Crap!
OUT: Daniel. This sherbet explosion had to get the boot. I mean the dress is elegant and fun, but not THAT classy, Mr. I-have-a-very-high-level-of-taste. And I think it actually makes his queen look MORE manly. The judges agree. Bye-bye!
Next week looks like it's going to be another dumb non-fabric-materials challenge that has nothing to do with challenging design or high-fashion. Nice going, producers. Another one bites the dust (hey-hey!), another one bites the dust.